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[13 Mar 2003|04:14pm] |
the phone rings and i go to answer it. it's bingo telling me about a show they're playing at FJC and how i better show up, or else. I put the phone down and call all my friends for a sleepover.
the girls show up and we're dancing around my house in our underwear, talking about how hott we are. we came up with the idea to dress up like spice girls and dance around. everyone got tired of that and kind of dissappeared except for two or three of my girls.
the next thin gi know, i'm sitting on my couch, cuddling with steve martin, dad in father of the bride, and out of nowhere we start making out on the floor while everyones getting ready to see moraline. i start to feel uncomfertable becus he's so old, so we stop.
he offers to drive us all to FJC and when we get there we notice that Everyday Hero is playing. Steve Martin has turned into Fuji (dave fujinami) by this point, so when we walk in, bingo yells at me becuz i made fuji late, and they couldn't start without him so they lost half their crowd. i assure bingo that when they start playing they will get the whole crowd to watch them. i promise to go promote to everyone in sight for like the twenty minutes they are setting up. mike meza joins me and on our way back we run into susanna who goes balistic on me and tries to kick my ass for talking to her boyfriend. i called her a dumb bitch, knocked her out, and attempted to get back to bingo that promoting went well. unfortuently for me, i wasn't getting in becuz i had promoted so much that the show sold out. the band refused to start playing until i was back, they didn' tknow i was outside, so bingo went to go look for me. he got me in and they played a great show. afterwards we made out and everything faded to black.
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[27 Feb 2003|03:36pm] |
i'm skating down the street of downtown orange and its dark out and i skate by carry and geoff and all of a sudden this ugly kid who's name i cannot remember is skating on the other side of the street. he looks kinda funny and when he comes close to me i realize he is a vampire. he says, "you will be mine, oh yes, you will be mine" and i screamed "you fucking swear" and skated off into the carnival which is by my house.
the next day i find out that carry has turned into a vampire and geoff is dead and i'm at the carnival walking around and i see this vampire kid again and i realize that no matter what i do he's gonna find me and bite me so i tell him just to do it. right before i told him too i had seen myself in a mirror and i was this really ugly person that i've never seen before. that was weird. so instead of biting my neck he bites my nose and suddenly i'm extremly sexually attracted to him. i kiss him and like hump the shit out of him and all these kids are looking at us so i lead him into a dark alley and like kiss him and am sitting on him. then everything goes blurry except these bold black letters that appear that say "censored: sex scene"
everything goes unblurry and i'm still sitting on this ugly vampire dude and i'm not a vampire yet and this really hott guy comes up and he introduces him as his friend Liam. this guy is like beautiful and he's a vampire and he asks if he can bite me so i say sure and he bites hard on my neck and it hurt really bad but felt good at the same time. i fall in love with him.
Liam grabs me by the hand and invites me to go to the movies that are at this carnival. he explains to me that it's where all the vampires go and its haunted so not to piss off the ghosts. we go in and start to watch a movie and are sitting in the middle section back row. some newbies walk in and sit in the section behind us which is where all the ghosts sit and they all appear and the two newbies dissappear and the theater gets really dark and cold and liam grabs me and carries me out.
everything is now pitch black and bold white letters appear that say "two months later"
liam comes to pick me up to go meet kelly at the place that she is now living. when she shows up we are sitting in this arcade waiting for her and i look at her and she is the person i was in the beginning. i pull out a mirror and i look at myself and i look like myself. i'm a bit confused on why i can see myself since you aren't supposed to see reflections of vampires. it's apparent that kelly and liam had something going on a long time ago and kelly isn't over it. kelly leads us into this huge movie theater that looks like the universal amiptheatre. the movie that is starting to play is girls just want to have fun. i guess she lived behind the screen. she goes to talk to someone and i sit down and liam starts to walk towards me to join me and everything goes black.
when it starts to lighten up again i'm walking through this forest following these pads on the floor that have my name on them and are telling me where to go. finally i see a yellow car in the middle of the forest and liam is leaning on it and he tells me that he wanted to get away from kelly so he made us leave magically. he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him and i said yes and that was that.
next thing i know i'm at my house getting in the shower and kelly is there and a few other little vampire people and we are all getting in the shower. i guess vampires like to shower in groups. kelly and i were arguing cuz she told me that her and liam were getting married and i knew they weren't so i said they weren't. i didn't mention that we were cuz he didn't want her to know about us cuz she would kill me. i summon liam by using some funky orange mango conditioner in my hair and he turns the water off before i wash it all out and everyone leaves the bathroom but me and him. he got in the shower with me and helped me get the rest of it out. everything went blurry and bold black letters came up that said "censored: another sex scene"
when the blurriness went away we were in the shower just holding each other. everything started to fade out
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[27 Feb 2003|01:36pm] |
my aunt comes to pick me up and we head down to san diego to pick out a dress for me to wear to my brothers wedding. when we get there we find this store with beautiful dresses. they look like they are from the 1800's but they are apparently from the 20's. i go to check the prices and the tags say "free" my aunt and i pick out about 10 dresses to take and we head out to LA to look. we go to a McDonalds before we get on the freeway. she orders too many orders of frieds because she forgot they aren't very vegan. i end up accidently eating one while she is driving to the freeway. out of nowhere i'm driving and i freak out and get on the 55 north. i figure we must be in orange county by now.
suddenly everything goes black and when it starts to lighten i'm on a bus and everything is shaking and everyone is freaking out. i realize then that we are making our way up and over the rocky mountians and there were rocks falling. the rocky mountians are different then i ever remember them and the peak is what we are driving over.
everyone is paniking and thinking they were going to die. people are praying and saying they wished they hadn't gone after all.
this huge bus is like climbing up this mountian and it goes to make a sharp turn at the peak and it breaks the wood gate and half the bus is up in the air over this huge ass drop as the back wheels are turning and then the bus turns around and goes back down and the bus drivier is like "we made it! we're alive" and everyone is cheering.
when we get back down to the bottom there are these wood benchs in like an ampitheatre. its kinda funny. i have penny in my arms and she's clawing me trying to get away but i don't want to put her down cuz she'll run off the end of the canyon. by this time it looks like i'm at the grand canyon. i scream for my brother who has a duffle bag that my two dogs and other cat are in and i put penny in there and i hear her scream and the dogs bark like in a cartoon and i carry it. a tour guide thanx us for coming to the grand canyon and i'm super confused.
everything goes black and now i'm at school calling the show. the shows going great and its almost the end and diana falls and breaks her leg off stage. since i know the part i go back there and change for the ending number. i can't find the costume so i run across the stage in a blackout half naked and everyones looking at me. finally i get fully in the costume and i forget the dance completely and make an ass of myself. it was so embarressing.
the next thing i know i'm in another bus but this bus is huge. there is this really pretty lady there that is like a tour guide or so and is teaching me how to cook chicken ramen in a coffee maker. very strange. after i cook it i go back to the part of the bus where everyone is sitting and i see andrew and some really ugly girl sitting there. he gets up to great me and we go for a walk and are standing in the space between the guys bathroom and the girls bathroom. this bus was huge. we start fighting about liking each other or something and then everything starts to shake again and i'm back at the rocky mountians going through everything again.
after that everything just repeated itself twice.
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[25 Feb 2003|09:49pm] |
all i see is white. everything is semi fuzzy. i appear out of nowhere and appear to be alone. i'm walking but it seems like i'm not going anywhere.
i see jay h. on my right and i find myself going up to him and telling him i was sorry for caring about him so much and sorry for wanting to see him. i told him i used to like him and one thing i always wanted to do was kiss him. a moment later i found myself doing just that as he dissappeared into thin air.
on my left i see emily. i'm telling her everything that bugged me about her like her stealing my phrases and saying she was going to slit david's throat. then i told her i loved her and gave her a hug as she too, dissappeared into thin air.
i continue walking and in front of me i see lauren. i stopped and told her she was a hott peice of ass and i'm glad she's happy cuz it's what she deserves. i tell her i wish we were closer and that i love her. as soon as my lips kiss her cheek she dissappears as well.
by this point i figure i'm going to see everyone i never said what i wanted too and they will dissappear one right after the other.
next i see sam. i tell her i don't understand why we stopped talking but i felt like i annoyed her. i told her i was sorry for whatever i did cuz i considered her a very good friend. i went to hug her and she was gone.
erin followed her. i told erin i wish i could take back the accident. i never wanted to destroy our friendship and that's what the accident did. i told her i often found myself thinking about her and wishing it hadn't happened. i told her i missed the eXe days. those were the good times. the times i loved. i told her i'd do anything to go back to how things were and she was gone.
right after her i saw berit. there was so much i wanted to say to her but i couldn't find the words for the life of me. i told her that i often at times regretted becoming friends with carry becuz i lost her for doing so, but that i couldn't help it. when carry said sorry i never expected to become close with her. i told her that it just kind of happened and as it happened carry was there more and more when i needed someone and no one was. i couldn't help that. i couldn't help that i didn't hate her anymore. i told her i would give up almost anything to be her friend. i wouldn't give up carry becuz that would suck but i would do basically anything. i told her i loved her and she was one of the best friends i ever had and i wished our friendship still existed and she was gone.
next i saw andrew a. i told him he was the most wonderful person i think i had ever known. he was by far the sweetest guy i had ever talked to and he desereved a girl that could give him the world. i was able to give him a kiss before he too was gone.
next kevin appeared. i told him i was sorry for being a bitch to him when he sold out. i also told him that i thought he did whatever was cool at the time and that's why he was straight edge and why he sold out. i told him i was sorry for breaking his heart when we broke up but it had to be done. i also told him the truth on why i broke up with him. i told him it was becuz he was a cruel bastard to me and i won't stand for it. it had nothing to do with school and i told him that then. i went to shake his hand but he was gone.
after him was russ. i didn't have much to say to russ except that i appreciated him caring about me when things with david were going on. i told him i thought it was sweet he was concerned about me getting hurt. i also thanked him for being my first kiss. before i was done speaking he was gone.
before he was gone all the way matthew was there. i told matt that i was sorry i put things on hold with us for david. i told him i was sorry i hurt him becuz i didn't mean to. i just wanted to get over david. i told him i felt horrible about it becuz i did and i told him i was going to do something i should have done in december. with those words i kissed him with as much passion as i could and when i was done, he blushed and dissappeared.
next was carry. i thanked her for always being there for me when i needed her and i told her to feel very special that i stuck with her when berit said she couldn't be my friend. i told her that i cared so much about her words couldn't describe and i told her she was the only girl i had ever been sexually attracted to and that it was weird. i told her i loved her and thanked her again and suddenly geoff appeared and told me he was gonna slit my throat and they dissappeared.
nick leo followed her and i told him i was sorry for ever picking fights with him or leading him on in any way i ever did. i said sorry to him for fucking things up with him for david as well. i told him he was my best guy friend and i loved him and he was gone.
after him was kyle. i told kyle i had a crush on him and he ruled me and he was gone.
then came the other andrew. i told him i wished he liked me becuz he was a beautiful person inside and out and i would have killed to have a chance with him. i told him he was just an amazing person and he too deserves a girl that can show him the world. with that he was gone.
finally i came to david. i told him everything he had ever done that hurt me. i told him i was sorry for everything i ever did that hurt him. i told him i wished we could go back in time to november when we were going out cuz i would have done things differently. i would have made it so perfect. i told him i wished he felt the same way i did and i was sorry i was acting dumb. i told him it took me acting dumb to realize just how much he really did mean to me and that i DO love him and i always will. i told him it kills me that he got over love so fast and that he's with tori. i told him i wished every day that i was her and that he would take me back. i told him the one thing i wanted to do was just to kiss him since i never did. three and a half years and i never kissed him. with that i kissed him and told him i loved him and he was gone.
it was at this point that i reached the gate and i realized i had died and gone to heaven. all the people i talked to were my friends that i had left something unsaid with. a friend i kept a secert from that i wanted them to know. it was the task i had to complete before i got into heaven. someone asked me how i felt about it and i said i felt better now that they knew but that it wasn't everyone and that some of the most important people in my life were missing like my family and my parents and kristin and my best friends and the man replied that even tho i left things unsaid, they knew deep down what i would have said so there was no need to. i fell to my knees and weeped as everything faded to black.
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[24 Feb 2003|08:58pm] |
i'm driving down la palma with kristin in my car when out of no where my car dies. we panic and then realize my car has just run out of gas. out of no where a gas station appears across the street. we get out of my car and pick it up and carry it across the street.
when we get there we realize we are right next door to knotts berry farm. we fill up my car and we start to get in when david king pulls up. he gets out and gives kristin a hug, me a hug and a kiss. as soon as he kisses me a park randomly appears across the street and we hear music coming from it so we go check it out.
kristin crosses the street first followed by david and i holding hands. when we get across we walk down this long alley. at the end of the alley we see this parking lot full of cars and a gate. we walk through the gate and i step in a puddle of mud. at this point i realize i'm wearing a pair of four inch heeled sandels. the centerfolds are playing and are just ending their set and i ask kristin and david to walk me back to my car to change into my converse. kristin agrees to go and david stays behind. we walk for what seems like hours to my car in the gas station and i get there and change shoes. while walking back james carl appears and asks us if we want a ride. we agree and as soon as we get back and walk through the gate i realize i only changed one of my shoes.
at this point split decision is playing only they aren't the split decision i've seen play. they are the same band only instead of guys, they are extremely manly chicks dressed up as an 80's hair band. i decided to walk back to my car and change my other shoe. when i get back i see kristin making out with james. i'm totally disgusted cuz i hate that kid cuz he's ugly and annoying and i go find david. once i find him we just hold each other and smile. his smile was amazing. i got lost in it.
my attention was drawn from his face when the next band started up. someone came out and thanked everyone for coming to the show and apparently it was the warped tour. the next band came out and well, the band was rainbow bright. the lead singer was a girl that looked and acted like rainbow bright and the band was huge. the band was a bunch of kids from my school playing tuba, trumpet, harp, and a bunch of other random insturments. i was confused at the fact that rainbow bright was no longer a cartoon but an 80's band.
when they're done playing, david and i walk away from all the noise and people to a quiet area and kiss and tell each other how much we love each other. after that, we walk into the sunset.
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[23 Feb 2003|10:57pm] |
i get out of the car to take a walk and i see you from a distance. you're so perfect and everything i want in a companion. i walk off the sidewalk and on the grass that is wet with dew to the swingset where you sit. we hug and kiss and everything feels so perfect like its supposed to be. you grab my hand and take me for a walk to the part of the park that is the darkest. the part with no lighting at all. we walk through the wet grass and we come across this blanket you had laid out and we sit on it and talk about how much we love each other. we kiss again. it was full of passion. we sit there holding each other and laying staring at the sky. looking at all the beautiful stars. everything seems so perfect and life seems so great. i finally know what it feels like to love something so much it hurts. we fall asleep listening to each other breathe and everything was just amazing. the perfect way to spend a night.
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[23 Feb 2003|01:04am] |
all i see is a flash of light. the next thing i know i'm standing in a mall which is a cross between fashion island and brea mall with david king. i see another bright flash of light and david dissappears and brian taylor appears in the place of him. we walk off holding hands and run into kirk and some other girl.
another bright flash of light and we are back in my house in my room. my room is exactly the same only it seems to be bigger and has a very large bed in the middle with black sheets. the bed seems to be very comfertable. after another bright flash of light i see kirk and this girl having sex on another bed that has appeared in my room. apparently the four of us were living together in my room.
as i'm getting ready for bed brian, who is already laying down in bed, says to me, "lets have sex tonight emma." after i think for a bit i reply with, "ok. just let me go to the bathroom first."
while in the bathroom i realize that i have just said i'm going to have sex for the first time. i'm scared and trying to think of a way out of it. i realize its 3 in the morning and my mom is not home yet. i'm frightened of what she will say when she finds out brian and two other people are living with us and i'm sharing a bed with brian. as i flush the toliet i hear the door downstairs open and my mom come in. she goes to my bedroom first and discovers everyone and i wait in the bathroom for the screaming to start. after about 10 minutes i decided to leave the bathroom and go back to my room. when i get there i find my mom talking to Brian while she is laying in our bed. she was telling him how comfertable it was. at that point brian had asked her to leave and told her we were going to have sex and she said she could stay and wouldn't look. another flash of light and its now 5 A.M. all i see is kirk and this girl asleep on the one bed. brian, my mom, and i asleep on the big black bed.
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